You might have looked at him, and walked the other way. You would have requested that your sons find another friend, and you most certainly would not have wanted your daughter to date him. You would have taken one look and thought, "That boy is trouble, he will never make it." Or perhaps you would have thought of him as "a lost cause." He was a rascal, he lived in a run-down trailer-park, he was a product of a broken family, and he was very familiar with red and blue flashing lights. He was trouble. He was lost.
Who was this lost boy?
He is my husband, Charles.
You would not know by just looking at him today that he was ever a lost soul. There is no external evidence. No tattoos (Read: THIS), no scars -- except those he carries inside. But how can one change so much without being internally scarred forever? He is not the same person he was, but that boy is still part of him -- his past is what shapes who he is today. For the better, I believe.
I have had the pleasure of watching his continued transformation. Let me make it clear, I had nothing to do with it. I was not even in the picture when his life was altered forever. But I have been there to watch how a rascal can change into a respectable man. And it has been an honor. I have been allowed to witness the fire of someone truly converted to the gospel. I have lived with someone rescued from the gates of darkness and allowed to live in the light.
It is miraculous.
Charles was a full-fledged hoodlum, when he started attending Church. He went to meetings at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He did not look the part, nor did he "fit in." He sat in the chapel with his head on the pew in front of him. He was not your average white-shirt-and-tie guy. I am sure he stuck out like grey feathers, on the ugly duckling. He was not like everyone else, all clean-looking and sparkly. He was dark. He was different. No one could see any evidence that he would one day become a beautiful swan.
But even in his darkness, and difference, he would sit in Church. And every now and then, his heart would pound as someone spoke with the Spirit, from the pulpit. He felt something. Something began stirring inside him. A fire began to burn.
And then, he was driving one evening, and there was a horrible accident. He was hit by a semi-truck. He walked away, miraculously unharmed. The details are his personal and sacred story, but I will say that God spoke to him. He read The Book of Mormon. He chose to be baptized.
He went into the water, and he washed away the hoodlum for Heaven's gates.
His life changed. It was hard. There were old friends, who did not want him to change.
But he changed.
He changed everything.
He went to seminary everyday of his Senior Year, he drove many miles to pick up other students, on cold Alaska mornings. He graduated from High School, barely. He worked 2 jobs and saved the full $9,000 it cost to serve a mission. He became Elder van Ormer for 2 years.
He served a faithful mission.
He changed his life, and the lives of others, forever.
He came home from his mission. He got married in the temple.
He was the first in his family to graduate from college. He went on to go to Law School.
He passed the Bar exam, and became an Attorney.
He has a beautiful family, who all love him, dearly.
He is a wonderful father. So fantastic with children.
He runs his own law firm. Helping out those who might appear a bit rascally, too.
His life went from night to day.
When you are baptized ALL your sins are washed away, and you are made new.
I know it. I have seen it.
When you see someone who you may think is a "lost cause" . . . don't think it.
You never know who people can become.
God can move mountains.
People can change.
We have to let them.
fantastic post! we love you guys. :)
ReplyDeleteWe love you Charles. Thanks for being a great husband to our daughter and a wonderful father to our grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteSally and Ed
Made me feel warm and fuzzy. I have always felt that way around Charles. He is as pure as they come.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughtful post Mari. I wish the world could hear it. Spirit filled.
Love you Charles!
I'll always remember the day in Spokane, when I was laying in your hammock and you and Charles came out to visit. He was questioning if he should continue law school at Gonzaga or change degrees. Why? Because law school was hard! But, he chose to stick it out and be a finisher!! He earns a medal for crossing the finish line. And, Mari, you did have something to do w that. I admire your sacrifices along the way.
Keep it up!
Love-Kary
I so loved this post Mari! It hits so close to home for myself and my Husband, family, friends and for many others out there. Just because we look, act or come across a certain way doesn't mean we are a lost soul or mean that we need to be loved any less. More so, we (they) need to be loved more.
ReplyDeleteI love President Uchtdorf's April 2012 Conference talk (doesn't seem like a year ago this was said). He says and I quote: "This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:
Stop it!
It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”
We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?
Because we all depend on the mercy of God, how can we deny to others any measure of the grace we so desperately desire for ourselves? My beloved brothers and sisters, should we not forgive as we wish to be forgiven?"
Even people in the darkest places have found their way back. It is our job not to judge, not to hold them back from what they will become, not to cast stones since we too have sinned. As President Uchtdorf said in the above, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you." I love that quote, one of my favorites!
Thank you for sharing Charles spiritual growth and transformation. I would never have thought or guessed that Charles was that way as a young man. It is always such a testimony builder to me seeing other people that have walked similar paths as I have and to see them so close to Heavenly Father. We are not lost...just takes us a little longer then some to find the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.