Do you love your body?

I love my body. No, really, I do. No, really, really, really, I do.

Before we came to Earth we lived in a world without our physical bodies. We were spirits. And what we wanted -- more than anything else -- was to have a physical body. We knew we would face pain, sorrow, temptation, illness, and death, but we wanted a body anyway.

To think we shouted for joy at the chance to live trapped in our mortal frame seems strange sometimes. Especially when earth life can be fraught with so much discomfort and pain. In times of great trial, or sorrow, I ask myself, "I wanted THIS?"

Yes. Yes I did. And yes I do.

I wanted THIS body? Yes, even the one I have now -- in its feeble, non-perfect form. Indeed, I do want what I have been blessed with, and what I have is a beautiful gift from God. Even though I am covered in an extra layer of "fluff" on my frame, I can still feel that my body is a treasure -- something I should be extraordinarily grateful for. My body has done so much for me, including bearing the bodies of my babies. I should give it a big hug and say, "Thank you!" My body is something I should take care of in earnest, and with a sense of devotion, and gratitude.

Everyday the scale fluctuates, proving that my super-hero power is the ability to shape-shift. This man-made machine determines my worldly-worth with a digital flashing number. If it is up, I am down. If it is down, I am up. I am convinced that whoever created the scale -- and the mirror -- had some evil plan to create vanity and destroy peace of mind. Just imagine if we did not have these devices. Perhaps vanity would not be quite so rampant, and we would be able to look outward towards others, rather than at the reflection in the mirror -- picking our physical selves into little vain pieces.

I have started a journey to better health. But it is not based on vanity, and pride. (Well, maybe a little vanity, but just a little, is that OK?) Really, my journey is based on a desire to feel the best I can in my mortal husk. I am not looking to become a super-model, or to rock a bathing suit. No, that will never happen. I just want to take better care of the body that God has given me. I do not think He is pleased with me, when I thoughtlessly do things to destroy my health and happiness.

It does not matter what size and shape we are either. Some of us have bigger "gifts" than others. Some of us mortals are frail and weak. Some of us have debilitating illness and pain. Some of us can't see, or hear. Some of us spend our entire life broken.

I don't know this for sure, but I think that whatever state we are in, we can do something for our health to make it better. Maybe all we can do is crawl, or walk, or even just think positive thoughts while lying in a hospital bed. Doing something, anything, to improve ones health -- is better than doing the opposite.

Regardless of what form we are physically, we need to love our bodies now. I do not know when I have ever reached a point in my life where I have said, "Yep, I am done, I have arrived. No more work required here." We must love these bodies of ours -- no matter what. It is a one time deal. It is the only one you get. There will be no exchange in Heaven for someone else's mortal flesh. No plastic surgery. You are who you are. You get what you got. There is no return policy to get your money back if you are dissatisfied with your gift. All you can do is the best with what you have. And if I understand things correctly, our bodies will one day be "perfected" and heavenly. You will be a perfect and heavenly version of YOU. A beautiful, exalted, gloriously, angelic, version of who you are now. So you might as well accept yourself, you might as will love you. Right? Of course right.

I spend so much time loathing my body . . . and then I look at my daughter. I would never want her to feel that way about the gift her Father in Heaven gave her (with a little help from me!). I would not want her to feel uncomfortable in her own skin for one second. I want her to love her body, and to see her as I see her (and all my children) -- they are beautiful, full of life, and talents to offer. Just like, perhaps, Heavenly Father sees me?

Yes.

I can do it. I can heal my body, and my soul. I can love my body. I can feel good in my tabernacle of flesh. I so long to fly, to twirl, to dance, and be free from pain. My pain has been getting better each day, as I take proper care of myself. I know it is possible to be free. I can feel it happening. And I am so grateful.

I know that my battle for my love of body will continue, but it is a battle worth fighting, even daily. (Which is why I am writing this post to remind myself!) Though I love myself no matter what, it is a heck of a lot easier when I feel good. I do thank my Heavenly Father for making me who I am. I might as well try to be the best me I can be, on the inside, and the out.

May God grant me the strength to overcome my weakness -- even my addictions -- and be free!

So, tell me . . . do you love your body? 

Spotlight on Health: Hillary

A note from Mari: Over the next few months, I am going to post inspirational stories of successful weight-loss, and good health -- for inspiration, and motivation. (For me, and you!) All of those who are spotlighted will have a different way of accomplishing their goals. I do not endorse, or promote, any particular way to achieving good health, but I DO promote finding what works for you, and DO IT! There is one thing I do know about weight-losss, and that is that more often than not, the problem is TOO MUCH FOOD! My hope is that you will find someone who resonates with you, and if you are fighting the battle, you can do what it takes to CHANGE YOUR LIFE! You can do it!  -Mari 
Hillary is the sister of my sister-in-law. She is a gorgeous, and extremely talented woman. She has a beautiful voice and you can view her music here: http://www.hillaryabplanalp.com. She is the mother of 5 beautiful children. You look amazing Hillary! 

Hillary Mann Abplanalp

In February of 2011 I could tell my mom wasn't feeling well. She went to the hospital one day because she couldn't keep anything down and they found that she was full of cancer. A week later, she was gone and we were all in shock. I found myself depressed and at the heaviest I had been in my life. After many diet attempts I resolved that I would be heavy forever. Exercise didn't seem to work and diets only worked temporarily. A few months later, I was performing at a concert and noticed that a friend in the group had lost a substantial amount of weight since I saw him a couple months earlier. I asked him what he did and he told me he could hook me up with some of the Medifast food he was eating. He was a free health coach and I was willing to try anything. I ordered my food that night and after it arrived it took me a few weeks to get used to it before I could stay on it for a full week. That first full week I lost 12 pounds! Every week after that for a few months, I lost at least 5 pounds. I was getting very excited as my clothes started to get huge and a different person was looking back at me in the mirror. After 30 pounds was gone, I started walking. It felt so easy to move without all that weight that I then started running and it turned to 50 pounds gone then 60 and I have been able to keep it off for over a year. I live a much healthier lifestyle now and have learned long-term habits of health. I am now a health coach myself and love helping other people realize they have power to take control of their lives.

A Before and After Request

Postpartum after Daniel (image to the left).  2 years later (image to the right). 60lbs weight loss.
 I am currently finding the girl to the right, again. I will get there. I know she is in here somewhere! 

I have a request. I have recently started to really take care of myself, and my health. I have made some good progress (20 pounds in the last month and a half), but I have a LONG way to go. I am looking for motivation in any form, from anyone.

What I would like to do is gather from you your health success stories, and post them on my blog. (I do not make money on my blog, nor do I endorse products.) I would like them for me, and for those who read -- for inspiration. And to pat you on the back for your awesome accomplishment!

This is what I would like from you. And I do mean YOU! (Melissa N., Becky C., Shelly H., Kary H., John L., Katie L., Celeste M., Hillary A., Jennifer, etc.)

Please, ANYONE! EVERYONE! Share your stories with me!

Please email me the following at: mari4u@hotmail.com.  (It will not take you long.)

1. A before and after picture. Your very WORST before picture, and your very BEST after picture. (Modestly dressed, of course.) 
2. A brief explanation of WHY you chose to change your life.
3. A brief explanation of HOW you changed your life.
4. Share what keeps you motivated to continue. 

I would LOVE this. And you will be motivating others besides just me! 

I recently got so desperate that I reached out to someone for help (something I NEVER do). It has been fantastic. I reached out to someone I love and admire for what she has accomplished. She is a rock star! I am so proud of what she has done for herself, and also her family. I even do weekly check-ins with her, and everything. She has helped me realized that my real problem is with food. I have been self-defeating myself all these years, pounding the pavement and eating cookies. (Duh!) The last 2 weeks I have followed her health plan (it is not a crazy diet, just a list of the proper food to eat, and the proper AMOUNT of food to eat). It is exactly what I have been needing. 2 weeks of strict adherence to proper eating, and exercising WITHOUT killing myself, and I have lost 10 pounds. And I feel SO MUCH BETTER. And my back pain is GONE. 

And that was my motivation: PAIN. 

I was tired of hurting so badly. I knew I needed to change. And I am changing. And so can you! 

So, please, please, PLEASE, send me your awesome stories and pictures!! I would LOVE IT! 

THANKS!!

Family Bike Ride

 In the summer, we like to go for family bike rides. They are certainly more interesting now that the kids are older, and riding their big bikes. And it takes about half an hour each time just to get out the door -- since it seems a bike always needs to be adjusted by daddy. We all seem to go at different paces now, too. I am generally left in the dust of Charles and the kids. For some reason when I ride, the Witches song from The Wizard of Oz comes to mind. Do you know what I mean? When she is in the tornado, and her bike turns into a broom. Yeah, that is my bike-riding song. 

We got Henry a helmet to protect his little noggin. I just think babies in helmets are so stinkin cute. Henry does not love his helmet. He tries to rip it off, I am sure it is annoying for him. But it is still precious. My little melon-head. 

 Our bike ride last Saturday seemed like it was in slow-motion. It was really hot, and the wind was blowing. I felt like I was pedaling backward -- it was weird. Even the kids were not loving it. A few weeks back we rode in the rain, and it was pretty awesome. It made the temperature perfect, and it made the ride an adventure. But I guess now that summer is in full force I better get used to the heat, right? 

Let the good times roll! 

Little House, Big Love, and Time

"Love grows best in little houses, with fewer walls to separate.  Where you eat and sleep so close together, you can’t help but communicate. And if we had more room between us, think of all we’d miss.  Love grows best in houses just like this."

My friend sent me that quote the other day.  I feel like it expresses my views exactly. My Nan used to tell me that love grows best in small spaces -- and I believe her. Five years ago I deliberately made the choice to pick the small home that we are in. It was not forced, it was on purpose. I wanted to live in close quarters with my family. I wanted to be in each others business. I wanted to see my kids, and know what they are doing. (I know that most of my childhood shenanigans happened in the far away basement.) 

I have never regretted the choice that I made to keep our family tight, it has been amazing. And now that we are back after a year of living a different way, I can honestly say I love it even more. Sure my 3 boys have to share a room, and Sammi sleeps in the closet off of their room, and Charles and I sleep in bunk beds -- but I would not have it any other way, right now. There are moments so rose-colored, and sweet, that it makes me want to cry out in joy. (There are crazy, head-spinning moments, too -- don't be fooled.) But I just love it. I know it is hard to understand, and people think we are crazy fools (mostly for the bunk beds, but they are temporary, mind you!),  feel free to feel that way. We are crazy. But I am happy here. I am happy with the way we live. 

What do you think . . . is it a bad thing to have to share a room with a sibling? Somewhere along the way society determined that each child should have their own room, or else the child would be doomed to . . .  ummmm . . . I dunno, what? Families are moving into ginormous amounts of space to keep their kids from the worst thing ever in the world -- sharing. It is kind of tragic. I think parents are raising a generation of children who feel entitled to everything they want, their way. They are little princes and princesses who deserve to be spoiled rotten. "What can I get you your highness?" says mom.  

But I disagree. I actually think a little (maybe even a lot of) deprivation is extremely healthy for children. I know it, because I have seen it. How else will they appreciate what they receive? I know it is hard, as parents, not to give children everything they could possibly ever want, but it is also necessary for their health and well-being. There is nothing worse than an ungrateful child, and nothing better than a grateful one! 

I love keeping our lives small and simple. Our children know we do it on purpose. And guess what? They love it here in small-and-simple land,  too. 

On a similar (but different) note, I read an article in the Ensign that I enjoyed: Here. It discussed a topic that I have always found interesting . . . 

Should you push your kids into sports and dance when they are young? 

A piece of the article asked:  “What if you gave your children something better than training in sports or dance?” Amy’s mother asked. “What if by staying home, they could learn to feel the Spirit more?” Then her mother reminded her of what President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, has taught about the power of focusing on life’s basic relationships.

I asked myself that same question long ago. I asked it long before my first child was able to walk. I determined for our family that I am far more concerned about their little minds, and their little spirits -- than I am interested in them becoming the next pro-sports team member, or prima-ballerina. I want their confidence to come from within themselves, because they know who they are . . . not just because they can put a ball in a basket, or twirl around on their tippy-toes in a pink tutu. Tell me adults friends, how many of you made the big time because you played tiny-tot sports? Hmmmm? Anyone? 

Yes, I know I am offending everyone right now. I am used to it. No worries. You can still love me, even if you completely disagree with me.

For our family I made the decision that once school sports were available, then my kids could do whatever they wanted, and I will support them 100%. Sammi participated in Basketball in 5th & 6th grade and she managed to keep up with her friends who went to B-Ball camp/played since they were babies, etc. She even scored the most points in a game. She also got to play the clarinet and saxophone at school, which she loved and excelled at. And because of her time learning how to read music in school, she has been able to teach herself how to play the piano, and she is pretty darn good for being self-taught, with 2 lessons from grandma. The way she plays you would think she's taken piano lesson for years. Nope, she just loves it, so she WANTS to do it = SUCCESS. 

I am not sharing this to boast about my glorious children. (Though I am very proud of them.) I am saying this because I purposefully deprived them all those baby/tot years, and guess what? They are still super-duper! And I got to have all that time with them to teach them, and love them, and help them to know who they are. And now, I feel ready to let the older ones fly! And fly they will! 

Daniel is going into 5th grade this year and he is so crazy-excited to play Basketball. He brought his ball to school everyday to play on the playground. It is what HE wants to do, not what I am forcing him to do. I am so excited to go see him play! He also gets to pick an instrument and start his musical journey -- because he wants to. 

I have always believed that children (and adults!) will succeed at what they love. And now that some of my kids are older, they are finding what they really love, and they are doing well at it.  I am so glad my theory has proven to work for our children! Whew! I could have destroyed my children with my crazy ideas of deprivation! 

So, how can you possibly teach your kids/prepare them to play sports/music, etc.? Well, we like to do things together as a family, like bike-rides, running, playing catch in the backyard, karaoke nights, singing all the day long, art projects, etc. Expose them at home to lots of different things and they will find their way! Play with them, teach them, lead them, guide them, walk beside them . . . something like that. 

McMansion houses and forced child-prodigies -- it is all a bunch of bunk. All of it. Let the little darlings be little! And don't try to keep up with whatever society thinks you should have. It is all folly. Happiness is not in these things. 

Like the lady in the Ensign article, I think we would all do well to consider what we are doing with our children, and if we are over-scheduling/over-burdening them with activities and demands. Perhaps there are more important things we can be teaching them? Perhaps there are more valuable things we can do with our time as families?  There is nothing as beautiful and as joyful as quality time spent as a family. That is what it (life) is all about. Not bouncy balls, and princess dresses . . . though they are fun. 

So, summertime is here! YES! And yet, I have heard so many parents complaining about having their children around them ALL day. How will they cope? How will they manage? I completely disagree with that notion. I am not "coping," I am ecstatic to have my kids with me ALL day! How lucky am I? My babies, my loves, my little preciouses are MINE!!! Yes! Lucky, lucky, me! 

I am jumping off of my soapbox now. 

Live simpler. Live happier. Or not. It is up to you. :-) 

South Hill Home

We took a little trip. After our brief camping trip to McCall, we continued on to one of our favorite places, Spokane, Washington. We lived there for 3 years while Charles attended law school at Gonzaga. I loved our time in Spokane, it was a magical time for us. (Count how many times I say magical in this post.) I am so glad we lived there for our school experience. It was also magical for me because it was the first time I had ever lived away from my home in Alaska. When you live in Alaska you can become kind of trapped in the state since the lower 48 are so far away. 

When we lived in Spokane it was like a whole new world opened up to me. We traveled as much as we could during that time, just to explore what we had been missing. I also felt like I found myself in Spokane. I think it was being away from family, home, and everything familiar. We were there alone without connections. But we quickly made fantastic friends that were more like family to us. And somewhere along the streets of the South Hill -- I discovered who I was. I traveled those streets, by foot, daily. Up and down the hills I would walk and run. My heart, my thoughts, my Spirit, were all elevated there. And because of that, a part of me will always be left there on the streets of the South Hill. The song, "I Left my Heart in San Francisco," would apply to Spokane for me.  A piece of my heart will always belong to Spokane. 

The streets of the South Hill are lined with homes from another time. You can still drive over patches of cobblestone road, and imagine what life might have been like over 100 years ago, with horse and buggy. I love history, and things from days gone by -- so being amongst the old houses makes my heart happy. Along with the houses full of history are trees that cover the roads -- with branches reaching out, as if the trees are lovingly holding hands. 

It was in Spokane I learned of my love of things from another era. I love the depth of homes that have existed through the ages. I learned that my favorite music comes from the mouths of Nat King Cole and Bing Crosby, and those of the same musical era. I discovered my love of that music while living in our tiny house during law school, doing the dishes by hand -- I realized that any task can be made better with that kind of music. When I listened to that music in Spokane it made me feel like I was living in another decade, another time. A better time. I cannot explain how much I love that feeling. I love the architecture, and the character of the buildings, and quality of craftsmanship. The love and care that people used to put in their homes is astounding.  I was often tempted to just go knock on the doors of complete stranger and ask if I could peek inside their homes that had been standing there for over 100 years. 

That being said, this Spokane trip was about crossing an item off of my bucket list. No, I am not dying. Well, I guess I am -- but we all are. But one of the things I have wanted to do since living in Spokane is to stay in a Craftsman style house on the South Hill. It would be the equivalent for me to staying in a Row House in San Francisco. This trip, I got my wish. We found the perfect house to stay in, and I loved every minute of it. It was a little pricier than staying in a hotel, but the house was the purpose of the trip, so the expense was very worth it. (The house beat out a hotel in every way.) 

We stayed in this house:  HERE

It was fantastic. If you are ever in Spokane, you might want to consider it. 

The view across the street. Love those awesome houses! 

Tree-lined streets were beautiful. You should see them in the Fall! 

Backyard 

It had a hammock, lounge chairs, even a BBQ grill. 

Daniel enjoying the view and the weather 

The living room was very pleasant and cozy. I spent a lot of time there snuggled on the couch looking out the window. 

The dining room became the game table 

Sammi's room. Her bed was really comfy, I tried it out a few times. 

William's room in the upstairs loft room, which I thought was super awesome. 

This was my "Secret Place" in the house. It was a tiny upstairs loft room. I would go up there and hide away from everyone and read and ponder -- it was glorious and magical. My heart was full of gratitude to God for allowing me that moment, just for me. 

The bed that snuggled me while I read and enjoyed the magic of my secret hiding room. It was a room meant for little girls. It allowed me to leave my motherly duties and be a little girl again, if only for a moment. I would love a room like this in my home, but I fear I would never come out. 

My view out of my secret place. 

William told me to take a picture :-) 

William snuggling on the couch after we got home from a late-night walk in the unexpected rain. 

So warm and cozy. This house sang for me. I just wanted to hug it and say thank you. 

Henry loved running around the house. 

Lots of little awesome details, including creaking floors. 

Sammi drinking hot chocolate, reading a book, under a chandelier -- what could be better? 

Sammi is obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera so she particularly enjoyed the chandelier.  I think she was waiting for it to fall. :-)  

Henry waiting for dinner in the backyard

Yummy dinner Charles prepared on the grill. Shish-Kaboobs. 

The kitchen was awesome. I loved their little breakfast nook area. 

The basement was full of fun for everyone. I did not spend much time down there, but the kids enjoyed it.  (While I snuck away to my magical retreat.) 

Henry loves balls, so he was happy to take them from the table. 

They even had a karaoke machine! 

And a piano for Sammi. 

Lots of fun games! 

  

Daniel enjoying his room. 

There were fun little nooks everywhere. 

Game table in action

And there was even a speaker dock, so I could play Nat King Cole while sitting magically in my Spokane. 

The house was over 100 years old, and there was a hint of the smell of my Grandma Lindquist's house when you walk in the back mudroom door -- which I loved.  The rest of the house smelled like yummy candles. It was a delightful house for us. It was updated, but with some happy displays of the past. I could sit there and feel the history of the house in the air. That house had a song all its own. A song of time that has escaped the world, of memories, of people who used to occupy its warm walls. I could imagine times gone by with corsets, top hats, and sophistication I cannot even comprehend living in our time. It was a unique experience, and a beautiful home. I am so glad we stayed there and not in a hotel. 

Another piece of my heart has been left in Spokane. 

Another item has been crossed off of my bucket list. 

Paper or Plastic?

I have an iPhone. A lot of people do. I use it all the time, for various reasons. One of the great features on my phone is the LDS Scripture App. I have access to the scriptures anytime, anywhere, even in the dark. I love it, and I use it all the time, everyday. 

However, I still prefer the book. When I sit down to really read the scriptures and soak in their warmth and light, I set aside my phone app, and I reach for my book. There is something beautiful about caressing the pages of the scriptures. There is something comforting about the weight of the book in my hands. There is something magical about holding pure truth from a tool that cannot access evil -- like the phone can. I love my scriptures with crinkled pages and pencil-highlighted passages. 

Sometimes I feel sad when I look around the classes at church and I see the glow of phones lighting the faces of the congregation. I am not exempt, I have done it too. And Charles uses his phone at Church all the time. Technology is here to stay, and it is being used in an amazing way in the church classrooms. I get that. I do. I am in awe of all that is available at our fingertips. I am also aware that we are on our way to becoming a world like the one depicted in the movie Walle -- which is a little scary. 

There is just something beautiful about holding the actual book in your hand -- something precious. I know they are the same words of truth that grace the screens and the pages, but how much more beautiful the words appear upon the pages of paper. I don't know why, they just are. It is like the difference between viewing art on a computer screen, and art on a painter's canvas. One is hard, and one is soft. One is covered in dense plastic, and one is free to touch and even smell, in the form of paper and ink. 

Ever seen this scene at church? I have. 

When we do our family scripture study every night, I try really hard to read from the book and not the phone. I don't want my kids looking back on their childhood recalling how we gathered around the glow of the cell phone for scripture time. Sometimes, when it is late, I cop-out and use the phone while standing in their bedroom with the children all in their beds. But I really try to reach for the book. I so prefer it. 

I remember writing an article back in college about how newspapers would likely become obsolete in the future, because of the Internet. Though there are some people who still get their morning paper, I am pretty sure most people get their news from news websites. Newspapers will likely become obsolete, as they are currently falling into oblivion. I just hope that does not apply to the scriptures. Even though they are available via all electronic devices, I hope that scriptures in book form will never become outdated. I hope they will remain despite the advance of technology. 

There is something magical about the book that can never be replaced.