Love and Destiny

I love Charles. Sometimes when we are just going about our day wiping-up messes, passing the potatoes, changing diapers, helping kids with homework, surviving, and running from one activity to the next -- sometimes I forget to express the love that I am feeling. Sometimes I assume he just knows my intense love for him without me saying, or without me showing him. I assume he can read my mind, and he knows that: Charles + Mari = LOVE, has been permanently carved on my heart. 

But as Shakespeare put it: 

"They do not love, that do not show their love."

And that is the truth! 

I had a dream last night that reminded me of a night over 14 years ago. It was a night where Charles and I sat across from each other, wondering if we were making the right choice to get married. We were scared. We were so young. We had nothing, and we knew nothing -- except that we "loved" each other, and wanted to be together. It was a scary night, filled with doubt and fear. We were very close to calling everything off . . . but as we kept talking things through, we came up with the conclusion that being together was what we really wanted. We worked through our fears, and we chose to link our futures together -- forever. 

My dream caused me to awake with a sense of amazement, as I considered what would not have been, had we chosen not to get married. (Sammi, Daniel, William, and Henry -- just to mention a few.) I considered how many places we have been together, how many people we have come to know, and love, how many lives we have touched in some way. I considered the people we have become. The things that we have learned and grown from. I considered the life we have created for our family. I was left in awe how all of this could have been undone in one moment of decision all those years ago. The life we live now is a result of the choice we made then, as inexperienced, young, immature, babies. 

We were just little kids who were in love. And that love has grown into a family. And I find myself taking a moment to consider how amazing that is. And how I am so eternally grateful for Charles, and the love and joy we have shared over the years. 

I am in awe that our love has formed our destiny. This life we live now, this family we have created -- it is a result of my love for Charles, his love for me, and our love for God. 

I am amazed -- truly amazed, as I consider what might have been, or not been! 

Also, I have been reminded by my dream, that we need to show the love that we feel in our hearts. Our words, our actions, should portray the love that burns within us. Expressions of love need to be shown, not just felt on the insides to hide away, just for you. A kiss, a hug, a kind word or two, expressing appreciation . . . they go a long way. Sometimes we may not feel like reaching outside of ourselves to give from within us, but I think it is so important. It takes effort, it requires action. You can be deliberate about showing your love. It is worth it. Love is always worth it! 

And consider . . . 

"They DO love, that DO show their love." 

I want the world to know that I love Charles. I am so grateful, and blessed, to have him by my side. When I take a moment to really think about him, my heart gets fluttery, and my soul fills with gratitude that we found each other out of the billions of people in the world -- what a miracle! 

We have come a long way -- from love to destiny -- with forever to go! 

I sure adore this guy. 

Last Request for your Fall Photos!

I have received a good amount of Fall Photos, but I would LOVE more. 

I would love pictures of pumpkins, trees, kids jumping in leaves, even yummy Autumn food...

Fall in Fairfield, Idaho. By Mari van Ormer. 

Please send your photos to: mari4u@hotmail.com. 

If you have pictures from Autumns gone by, from places you have been, send those, too! 

THANK YOU!!!!! 

-Mari 

P.S. This is just for fun! I LOVE Fall and I would love to see and share your favorite Fall images. 

The Women in Me ... Continued.

I had so much fun doing The Women in Me  post,  I wanted to do more! Thanks to www.familysearch.org, I was able to find more pictures and stories that I did not have on file. 

Here are more of the Women in Me . . . 

Sarah Jane Murdoch Rasband. My great, great, grandma. She was the daughter of John Murray Murdoch, who was the son of "Wee Granny". She was born and died in Utah. She was a faithful Latter-Day Saint. 

Jane Cadwallader Brown. My great, great, great, grandma.  In 1861 they came to Salt Lake and built a nice home which was located on the spot where the Union Pacific Depot now stands. Wherever they went they had a store and sold all sorts of merchandise. In William’s merchandising business they often sold bakery goods, pies, cakes and bread that were made by Jane. Though they had a large family of 12 children, she always took much interest in her neatness in dress and appearance. She did all kinds of lovely handwork and sewing, and especially making many beautiful quilts. Her work was the neatest and of the very best. Much of the time she wore a neat black taffeta dress and bonnet.

Emily Whitehead. My great, great, grandma. Born in Kent, England and came to America to be amongst the Saints. She was the mother of 8 children. She died in Salt Lake City, Utah. 

Julia Ellis Hills. My great, great, great, grandma. There is a whole book series out about her life, called: A Banner is Unfurled. She was an extremely strong women, joining the Mormon church without her husbands consent, because she knew it was true. Her husband moved out because of it. Her husband, Ezekiel Johnson, did not like the "Mormons" and he was a heavy drinker. But in the end he had a change of heart, and was upset at how Joseph Smith was treated and he fought off a mob trying to get to the Saints. This incident led to his death. He became a marked man. On a trip into Nauvoo, a mob captured him and tied him to a wagon wheel where he was whipped to near death. He never recovered and died shortly after. He asked to be baptized before he died, but did not have a chance, so his family did his temple work for him.

I know, I know, I am having too much fun!! But the more women I find, the more excited I get!

The Women in Me

I stand on the shoulders of Giants. I can feel the strength of the great women of faith, and courage -- women who have gone before me, whose same blood flows through my veins -- these women are always with me, a part of me. We are connected. We are family. I marvel at their stories, their lives, and their strength. Sometimes I think about them, when times are hard, and I draw courage from what they endured. They are my heroes.  One day, I hope to not be ashamed to stand in their glorious presence, as friends, as equals. 

By knowing them, I come to know myself better. 

These are the women in me . . . 

Sara Emily Cram Post (Nan), my grandma, my friend. Known for her big heart, her beauty, and her life full of love and service to others. Mother to 8 children. 

Nadine Mae Kippin. My Grandma. Known for her wit, and her endurance to the end. She was stubborn and determined, her life was not easy. She was a diligent genealogist, who inspired my desire to do Family History work. 

Emily Isabella Rasband (The Belle of the Ball), my great grandma. Known for her open heart, open home, and her enduring happiness. While dying of Cancer, with her jaw bone exposed, she still smiled and was kind to the bitter end. 

Isabella Stevensen Kippen, my great grandma. Known for her beauty, her brains, and her faith. Her husband went on a LDS mission to Samoa in 1892. She traveled from Scotland to Utah, without her parents, on a long and tedious journey. 

Louise Augusta Osterdahl Lindquist, my great, great grandma. Known for her Swedish strength, beautiful home, glorious food, and mothering of 11 children. 

Emily Allsworth Post, my great grandma. Known for her beautiful singing voice, her warm heart, and kindness. 

Anne Steel, my great, great, great, great grandma. Known for her faithfulness, her willingness to follow Jesus, and pure Scottish strength that allowed her to come to America and endure endless hardships, and help settle the Utah Valley. 

Sara Emily Post Lindquist, my own mother. Known for her kindness, her love, her beauty, her talents, her willingness to serve God, and her positive attitude. 

To all you marvelous women -- those listed here, and all who have gone before me -- you are always with me. You are a part of me forever. 

Thank you. 

Autumn Image Request...

Fall in Fairfield, Idaho

I love Autumn. 

I think it is the most beautiful time of the year!

I love seeing beautiful images of pumpkins, trees, and everything lovely from this season . . .

 I have a request, and I need your help! 

I would like to gather images of Autumn from a bunch of different places: your backyard, your town, your city, your country, etc., and I will have a special "Autumn Images" post featuring ALL the images I receive. You do NOT have to be a professional, just snap a picture from your area and send it my way! Or send me your Fall images from places you have been in the past! 

I REALLY want to see and share YOUR images!! 

Email your pictures to: Mari4u@hotmail.com. 

THANKS!!! 

-Mari 

Waiting for the Windows of Heaven to Open

How do you open the Windows of Heaven? I know how. Pay your tithing!

My heart has been fluttery with anticipation of . . . something? I do not know what it is that I am anticipating, or why my heart races with excitement and anxiousness. But I do know I feel a sense of "something is coming". Do you ever feel that way? 

Sometimes I feel restless, and I desire change. Sometimes just rearranging a little furniture will do the trick, and other times I want to rearrange my whole life. 

In the last few months we have considered some big changes, even REALLY big changes, but then we always come up with the answer to "wait." We have looked at new job opportunities in different places, and considered finding a new home in our same general area. 

We visited Fairfield, Idaho, an extremely small town, where Charles was considering applying for a Judge position. We went to Church there (a small branch with NO youth and 5 primary children) and were greeted with, "Oh, we have been praying for you to come!" But as soon as I walked in the building, I knew we could not do such a thing to our poor children and their futures. My children are social beings and they LOVE their friends. I could not rip them from that . . . there were a lot of reasons it did not feel right. I hate to disappoint the people of Fairfield who were ready to fast and pray Charles into the Judge position, but I am much more concerned about disappointing my children and upsetting their future. 

It was not the right thing for our family. 

As soon as we got home from Fairfield, we shifted gears, and the thought of looking into a new home came to our minds. We have looked at a bunch of different homes over the past few months, and we have walked through 3 in the last few days. Charles has his Realtor license so we can go into any home with no stress . . . it is kind of awesome, and convenient. We can go in alone without pressure from someone trying to convince us to buy something we don't want. 

We have looked, and looked, and been filled with excitement, and hope and dreams . . . 

But once again, the answer has been to "wait". 

We have looked at so many houses, but there has always been something a little "off" with all of them. Whether it is location, size, smell (no really, houses can STINK!), a driveway that is too steep, a house with no backyard . . . the list goes on and on. There has been something wrong with each home, and none of them have made us scream for joy. (We are picky, but we can be, we are in no rush.) But after living in a 2 bedroom home, you better believe we will be picky! 

It has been a little difficult, looking for homes is emotionally draining. You imagine yourself there for awhile, you dream, you hope, and then you have to bring it back to reality. If we were to try and find a home now it would be "the home" that we would stay in for a long, long, time -- so it is a little more stressful. 

When we bought our little house 6 years ago, it was only ever meant to be a "starter home" so it was stressful, but we were also stupid and naive, so it made it easier to pick something. Now we have owned a home for 6 years and we have seen what it takes to have a property in your name. I wish I could say it was a good investment, but since we bought at the peak of bubble before the recession, looking back now we would have been better off renting. Don't get me wrong, I have loved our home, and I am grateful we have had it. We have learned some very important lessons over the years because of this house. I am grateful. 

So now, we wait, and wonder . . . what are we supposed to do? Do we find a new home, do we add-on to our current home, do we just sit tight and wait for the future to unfold, or do we need to make some choices now? 

We wait. 

Timing . . . I think it is all about timing. 

Perhaps waiting until the turn of the year . . . the holiday season seems a difficult time to make such decisions. Not to mention the fact that the Country is in financial limbo right now, and things like Mortgage interest rates could skyrocket in the next little while. 

We wait. 

Wait, wait, wait! 

Hooray for waiting! 

As I was lying in bed the other night starring at my bunk bed slats, some thoughts from General Conference flowed into my mind . . . 

Elder Bednar said: 

"We may appropriately desire and work to receive a pay raise in our employment to better provide the necessities of life. Eyes and ears of faith are required, however, to notice in us an increased spiritual and temporal capacity to do more with less, a keener ability to prioritize and simplify, and an enhanced ability to take proper care of the material possessions we already have acquired. We might want and expect a larger paycheck, but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else...

Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience."

He was talking about the Windows of Heaven opening when you pay your tithing. I think in the past I have thought of the Windows of Heaven and imagined a window opening and sparkly gifts of temporal blessings flowing out to reward righteous living. But that is not how it works. 

A window lets in light, and allows for clarity of vision. And that is what you can count on -- inspiration and guidance. A light in the darkness. Perhaps blessing don't come in the form of a larger home, but you can be inspired how to make the home you already have become the haven that you so desire. Rather than having a windfall of money land in your lap, you can be inspired how best to use your current resources. 

Consider the faithful Pioneers . . . and consider what they did with the meager things they had to work with. Golden streets did not fall from Heaven, they had to build, work, toil and create a city themselves. But God was with them, inspired them, and allowed them vision and strength to do what needed doing. They were guided along every step of the way. 

And we can be too. If we are PATIENT. And if we are willing to truly listen to God and shut-out our frenzied desires for "stuff" and for "more".  

So, we wait, and we work, and we keep moving forward . . . happily, of course. Right? 

We work with what we have, maybe tweak a few things, and utilize the resources we have to the best of our ability. We make life work for us right now. We can take our hopes and dreams and infuse them into life the way we live today. 

So . . . until the windfall of money and houses come falling from Heaven, we will make do with what we have now. And the true blessing is to have a sense of peace and happiness about it. 

Sometimes you just have to sit quietly and ask God what He REALLY wants you to do (which is often different then what YOU want to do!) and He will guide you! 

Keep those Heavenly Windows open! 

Choir Concert #1

Last night was Sammi's first Junior High choir concert. It was pretty cute. She had so much fun. She loves choir and singing. It was the first of what I am guessing will be many, many, many, more concerts in the future. 

They are so lucky because for informal concerts they get to wear these cute T-shirts and jeans! Back in my day it was white shirt and black pants. 

I had Henry with me, and he started screaming during the band performance so I had to go out for awhile. He was OK with the singing though, thank goodness. 

They showed us how they warm-up in class by dancing. 

Yea for singing!