Waiting for the Windows of Heaven to Open

How do you open the Windows of Heaven? I know how. Pay your tithing!

My heart has been fluttery with anticipation of . . . something? I do not know what it is that I am anticipating, or why my heart races with excitement and anxiousness. But I do know I feel a sense of "something is coming". Do you ever feel that way? 

Sometimes I feel restless, and I desire change. Sometimes just rearranging a little furniture will do the trick, and other times I want to rearrange my whole life. 

In the last few months we have considered some big changes, even REALLY big changes, but then we always come up with the answer to "wait." We have looked at new job opportunities in different places, and considered finding a new home in our same general area. 

We visited Fairfield, Idaho, an extremely small town, where Charles was considering applying for a Judge position. We went to Church there (a small branch with NO youth and 5 primary children) and were greeted with, "Oh, we have been praying for you to come!" But as soon as I walked in the building, I knew we could not do such a thing to our poor children and their futures. My children are social beings and they LOVE their friends. I could not rip them from that . . . there were a lot of reasons it did not feel right. I hate to disappoint the people of Fairfield who were ready to fast and pray Charles into the Judge position, but I am much more concerned about disappointing my children and upsetting their future. 

It was not the right thing for our family. 

As soon as we got home from Fairfield, we shifted gears, and the thought of looking into a new home came to our minds. We have looked at a bunch of different homes over the past few months, and we have walked through 3 in the last few days. Charles has his Realtor license so we can go into any home with no stress . . . it is kind of awesome, and convenient. We can go in alone without pressure from someone trying to convince us to buy something we don't want. 

We have looked, and looked, and been filled with excitement, and hope and dreams . . . 

But once again, the answer has been to "wait". 

We have looked at so many houses, but there has always been something a little "off" with all of them. Whether it is location, size, smell (no really, houses can STINK!), a driveway that is too steep, a house with no backyard . . . the list goes on and on. There has been something wrong with each home, and none of them have made us scream for joy. (We are picky, but we can be, we are in no rush.) But after living in a 2 bedroom home, you better believe we will be picky! 

It has been a little difficult, looking for homes is emotionally draining. You imagine yourself there for awhile, you dream, you hope, and then you have to bring it back to reality. If we were to try and find a home now it would be "the home" that we would stay in for a long, long, time -- so it is a little more stressful. 

When we bought our little house 6 years ago, it was only ever meant to be a "starter home" so it was stressful, but we were also stupid and naive, so it made it easier to pick something. Now we have owned a home for 6 years and we have seen what it takes to have a property in your name. I wish I could say it was a good investment, but since we bought at the peak of bubble before the recession, looking back now we would have been better off renting. Don't get me wrong, I have loved our home, and I am grateful we have had it. We have learned some very important lessons over the years because of this house. I am grateful. 

So now, we wait, and wonder . . . what are we supposed to do? Do we find a new home, do we add-on to our current home, do we just sit tight and wait for the future to unfold, or do we need to make some choices now? 

We wait. 

Timing . . . I think it is all about timing. 

Perhaps waiting until the turn of the year . . . the holiday season seems a difficult time to make such decisions. Not to mention the fact that the Country is in financial limbo right now, and things like Mortgage interest rates could skyrocket in the next little while. 

We wait. 

Wait, wait, wait! 

Hooray for waiting! 

As I was lying in bed the other night starring at my bunk bed slats, some thoughts from General Conference flowed into my mind . . . 

Elder Bednar said: 

"We may appropriately desire and work to receive a pay raise in our employment to better provide the necessities of life. Eyes and ears of faith are required, however, to notice in us an increased spiritual and temporal capacity to do more with less, a keener ability to prioritize and simplify, and an enhanced ability to take proper care of the material possessions we already have acquired. We might want and expect a larger paycheck, but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else...

Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience."

He was talking about the Windows of Heaven opening when you pay your tithing. I think in the past I have thought of the Windows of Heaven and imagined a window opening and sparkly gifts of temporal blessings flowing out to reward righteous living. But that is not how it works. 

A window lets in light, and allows for clarity of vision. And that is what you can count on -- inspiration and guidance. A light in the darkness. Perhaps blessing don't come in the form of a larger home, but you can be inspired how to make the home you already have become the haven that you so desire. Rather than having a windfall of money land in your lap, you can be inspired how best to use your current resources. 

Consider the faithful Pioneers . . . and consider what they did with the meager things they had to work with. Golden streets did not fall from Heaven, they had to build, work, toil and create a city themselves. But God was with them, inspired them, and allowed them vision and strength to do what needed doing. They were guided along every step of the way. 

And we can be too. If we are PATIENT. And if we are willing to truly listen to God and shut-out our frenzied desires for "stuff" and for "more".  

So, we wait, and we work, and we keep moving forward . . . happily, of course. Right? 

We work with what we have, maybe tweak a few things, and utilize the resources we have to the best of our ability. We make life work for us right now. We can take our hopes and dreams and infuse them into life the way we live today. 

So . . . until the windfall of money and houses come falling from Heaven, we will make do with what we have now. And the true blessing is to have a sense of peace and happiness about it. 

Sometimes you just have to sit quietly and ask God what He REALLY wants you to do (which is often different then what YOU want to do!) and He will guide you! 

Keep those Heavenly Windows open! 

Choir Concert #1

Last night was Sammi's first Junior High choir concert. It was pretty cute. She had so much fun. She loves choir and singing. It was the first of what I am guessing will be many, many, many, more concerts in the future. 

They are so lucky because for informal concerts they get to wear these cute T-shirts and jeans! Back in my day it was white shirt and black pants. 

I had Henry with me, and he started screaming during the band performance so I had to go out for awhile. He was OK with the singing though, thank goodness. 

They showed us how they warm-up in class by dancing. 

Yea for singing! 

Family History Activity Day

I was asked to help with a Family History activity for the Activity Day girls in our ward. It was fun! I tried to keep it light and simple, and the goal was just to get them thinking about it, and for them to go take a look at www.familysearch.org. (The website is so stinking AWESOME!) 

I also made a little treat that I had never tried before. I melted chocolate and made YUMMY pretzel sticks! I even found little sprinkles shaped like Fall leaves. I used pretzel sticks to remind them they are a "branch" in their family tree. I know, I know, awesome. 

I had them fill out a family tree, but they did not get very far . . . how far can you get?! 

The girls are so cute. We shared some family history stories, and talked about how you can discover who you are by discovering who you come from. 

They made their little Family History Trees to keep by the computer, to remind them that they love Family History! 

Fun times! 

Habits and Lessons

The Dishes

I am becoming a creature of habit. About a month ago, I made a goal to have an empty sink before heading off to bed. I had not thought much of it, but with the school year, and more going on now, I find that if I am greeted with a load of dirty dishes first thing in the morning -- it gets my day started off on the wrong foot.

So, every night before I go to bed, I do the dishes. Even if it is late. And you know what? It REALLY makes a difference. When I can start my day without the mess, I feel a greater sense of calmness in my heart and head. The sink is a source of peace or panic for me. If the sink is full, I feel like the whole house is a mess. But if it is clean, everything else seems like no big deal! (Except the laundry that is, the laundry is a big deal!)

P.S. That water bottle is my 100+ ounces to drink each day

P.P.S. If I could just figure out the laundry thing, then I would be set! With the space we have in our house + 6 people our clothes seem to form an ongoing mountain range between the two bedrooms, the bathroom, and the laundry room. Seriously, if you want to come over, call first, otherwise I will make you fold laundry.

Over 1000 Names 

Also on my daily schedule of habits is Family History Indexing. I know, sounds boring, right? But it has become so second nature for me now. I have committed myself to simply one batch a day, and I have been doing that for over a month now. It is easy, it takes only a few minutes --10 at most. But by doing the little things, it really adds up!

Because I have given 10 minutes out of my day, each day, there is the potential for over 1000 people and their information to be accessed by their posterity. It is no big deal for me, but it is a BIG deal for them! And now I literally cannot go to sleep until I have fulfilled my commitment. Every. Single. Night.

I am a Mother of 4, and so my commitment had to be something realistic. But it is by small and simple things that great things are brought to pass! I have only been going for a little over a month now, after a year I will have made some REAL progress! Amazing! Hooray!

Working out with Billy

After being sick for a month, I am trying to regain some health and strength. I am trying to get Taebo back on my list of habits. The first time doing squats and lunges -- after nothing for a month -- was torture. I was screaming at Billy for causing such pain! And then he would say something like, "Who's a leader? YOU! YOU ARE!" and I would answer him, "That's right, I'm a LEADER!!! AHHHHhhhhhhhh!!!!" My legs would quiver under the stress, but I kept doing it. Why? Because I am worth it.

Hats, Hats, Hats! 

Hats are a major habit around here. I had a friend over yesterday to learn how to use the loom. I also had another friend (my Visiting Teacher) over at the same time, and it was pretty hilarious what happened to the house. While we women were talking about the Power of Women/Motherhood the kids were running around throwing toys and rearranging the kitchen drawers. Almost every inch of the floor was covered with something. I had to take a few pictures, I just thought it was so funny. Sure it was chaos, but sometimes you just have to let the children play so the Mommies can chat!

 They found the "junk drawer" to be very interesting.

Lessons from my Bed

Also on my list of habits is reading the quotes on the slats above my bunk bed. There have been days that have been hard (I was sick for a long while), and I find my heart lifted by the words written on the wood.

If I were to be honest, I'd have to say I am starting to loathe the bunk bed. It has worked for the last 6 months, but it is certainly not ideal. One of the things I miss the most is being able to see Charles' face at night while we chat. Now our conversations are more like, "Hey you up there, how's it going?" And we talk without seeing facial expression/emotions -- which is interesting. There is something special about being able to see the twinkle in the eye, or even the concern, or joy, or pain.

I have also gained a great sense of empathy for people who live differently than I do. I have had many thoughts about people who sleep alone, people who go to bed sad, and scared, without a companion. I have been allowed to experience a minuscule fraction of such feelings, and I have cried my eyes out at night for you who suffer with such things like being alone. My heart aches for you, truly. You courageous and strong, wonderful people . . . may God give you strength.

I have also thought of those who have nothing -- not even a bed -- or a roof over their head. So many people live in such harsh circumstances. I have great and tremendous reason to be grateful for every. single. thing. that I have been blessed with. I think sometimes we can forget how truly fortunate we are because we are surrounded by such abundance. But gratitude -- no matter the circumstances we live in -- can fill your heart with joy.

Sometimes I stop and feel such a sense of appreciation for how we have been able to make our home work for our family. Make no mistake, we are bursting at the seams at this point, but there is still such a strong sense of joy for me, in our home. I know I can take that joy with us wherever the future may take us.

We will not always live this way, one day things will be different. We could go out and buy a big house and make things different right now, but it has just not felt right, right now. We have to be patient, and wait. And I love to wait. I love being patient. I am really good at waiting...

The thing is, that is where life happens, in the "middle parts".  Real life is in the waiting, the "being patient" times. They are the stories that will be told, the adventures to be shared. Sure the waiting can be tough, and fraught with peril and dragons, but it can also be enjoyed!

I do believe I will look back on these times as some of the most precious times our family ever had. Instead of wishing the "waiting" away, I might as well enjoy life now, don't you think?! 

General Conference, Answered Questions, and Hats

General Conference was AMAZING! In all of my 33 years of watching Conference, I believe this one was something special. The speakers seemed to address so many issues/problems/questions that people face -- in such a spot-on, in depth, and personal way. It was truly a breath of fresh air. 

I follow world news a lot, and so much of it is awful, depressing, disgusting, and disheartening. So many people dwell in a state of such terrible confusion and doubt -- or at least that is how the news would portray it. Sometimes after I read the news, I feel a sense of sadness. Even though I know of the great things to come, and God's plan for His children, my heart aches for the degradation of society, and the lack of morals and virtue. 

But in this General Conference, my mind was put at ease as some of the issues of society were confronted head-on, and in a powerful way. As I heard the words of truth, it bolstered my courage, and my resolve to do, and be better. Listening to pure truth is powerful. My heart was touched by the Spirit, and it permeated my soul with a desire to serve and love God even more deeply. 

I am just so grateful for the topics that were addressed with such wisdom and power, yet the speakers were so personal, and their messages were spiritually edifying.

Some of the topics that were addressed were: 

• Doubt your doubt, before you doubt your faith. (My new favorite quote!) 
• Depression (with Jeffrey R. Holland describing his struggle with it. He is a super-hero of mine!) 
• Same Gender Marriage (Which the church cannot, and will never condone.) 
• The Value of Women, and how truly glorious they are!
• The Power of the Priesthood, and how we all have access to it. 
• The Divinity of Motherhood
• An invitation for all those who have left the church to come back, because we need you! 
• The Eternal Importance of Families. 
• The reality that men and women are different, and that it is a beautiful thing! 
• It is OK to have questions about the Church, but approach your questions with faith, not doubt. 
• Family, family, family! We need to strengthen our families! 
• Being a "Homemaker" is not outdated, and we need fiercely powerful and diligent Women in the home. 
• Service is the key to true happiness
• God loves us, no matter what. 

There was so much more, I cannot wait to get my hands on the talks. Watching the speakers is fantastic, but I love to read over them, too. And the messages from this Conference are so straightforward and awesome, I am sure I will be using the material for many, many, years to come! 

I love being a Mormon! 

Hat Making...

We made hats while watching all 4 sessions of Conference. We are working on hats for the Women and Children's Shelter. We made a lot of progress during the 8 hours of Conference. I think we should be able to reach our goal of 100 hats this year. (We deliver them in December.) 

If there is anyone who wants to help make hats for the Shelter, we would love to deliver as many as possible! We will pick a Monday night in December to deliver them. 

If you want to learn how to make hats let me know, I would be happy to teach you! (It is SUPER easy, using a Loom.) If my children can do it, so can you! Let me know if you are looking for a way to give a little service, it is not stressful, at all. We usually nestle in at night, watch an episode of The Cosby Show, and whip out a hat while laughing hysterically (The original Cosby Show was FUNNY!). It is a nice relaxing thing to do at the end of the day. 

Let me know if you are interested in hat-making! It is really FUN! And you can whip them up for your own family, too! 

I Know It's Today

If you haven't seen Shrek the Musical, you should -- it is GREAT! We got to watch it as the Movie Musical version, and it is SO fun! If you like Shrek the movie, you will love the musical. If you don't like Shrek, well . . . sorry! 

One of my favorite songs from the Musical is, "I Know It's Today," sung by Fiona as a young girl, a teenager, and an adult. It is so cute! I LOVE it!!!

Sammi and I thought we could give the song a try . . .  

(The video is about the singing, not the images, just so you know!) 

It is a song about Fiona waiting for Prince Charming to rescue her from her tower. 

Sammi and Mari Singing: "I Know It's Today".

Tired of Sick

I have been sick for a month. At this point, it is driving me CRAZY! It started as a sickness-party, with everyone in the family. We were all coughing, snotty, and gross for a few weeks, and then everyone else got better -- but not me. I seemed to have gotten the worst of it. From the middle of the night coughing spells, and total exhaustion, I have felt awful for too long now.

And then on Sunday, while my cough began tapering-off, my throat began to hurt, and I noticed my tonsils were streaked with white. Ick. Today my glands are swollen, my throat hurts, and my tonsils look disgusting, and I am tired. Very tired.

Last week, I thought I was getting better, and so I went for a run. I was OK when I was out running, but when I got home I started coughing like crazy.

Anyway, I have not been able to really exercise for weeks now, and it is driving me nuts. I am SO ready to be WHOLE again! I was feeling so fantastic physically, and then one day about a month ago, I could tell there was something wrong because my lungs began to feel heavy, and I kept feeling weaker, and weaker, and then sure enough -- I was sick.

The sickness has been long, drawn-out, and LAME. But when is sick ever fun? NEVER! It has just been so frustrating, because right when I thought I was feeling better, more sick came along to keep me company. Aargh!

I know no one wants to read about this. Being sick is lame and boring, and BLAH. But I am recording it anyway, so that I can remember to be grateful when I feel fabulous again! And I WILL feel fabulous again!

Here's to good health!