Henry

When I look at Henry, sometimes my heart hurts a little. He is now almost 5 months old, which just amazes me. I remember when he was first born, I was so worried about him, and if he would be ok. After his first surgery, I visited him in the NICU. I gently picked him up, and I was so careful with him -- he was all wrapped-up in wires. He seemed so breakable and vulnerable. He felt like a stranger to me, and yet, somehow, familiar. I wondered who he was, and who he would become. What kind of baby would he be? Would he hurt? 

Now, he is a happy tank-baby. A chubby-bubby. I love to just squeeze the rolls of chub on his legs. I love to smooch his cheeks. I love to let him suck on my face when he is giving "kisses." He smiles, and baby-talks, and is a precious little pooky. He is sitting on my lap right now, making goo-goo eyes at me. 

He is my doll-baby. 

Henry is still packing around his 4 kidneys, and handling it like a champ. He takes his antibiotics everyday, to prevent kidney/bladder infection. He is one of the most pleasant babies, and sometimes -- even most times -- I forget there is anything "wrong" with him. In a few months we are going to go in for another check-up, to see if anything has changed, and to just evaluate the situation. As of now, he is still scheduled to have surgery at the year mark (in April 2013). 

Sometimes I look at his little cherubic body, and I cringe thinking he will have to be cut-open and operated on. He is so happy, and whole, and perfect. You would never know that his insides are not working like they should. 

Here he is self-comforting, sucking his thumb, and rubbing his head. 

That is how he falls asleep most of the time. And he likes to sleep on his tummy, so he can find his thumb. :-) 

Most days, I don't think about his weakness, at all.  I just go about my days, doing my thing -- watching him with adoration as he does cute baby stuff. But somedays, it does come to my attention. Somedays, if he is crying really hard, or sounds uncomfortable -- I wonder if he hurts on the inside? Somedays, I am reminded how fragile life is. How special life is. I am reminded of how delicate we all are, with our physical bodies that have frailties and weakness. Bodies are amazing miracles. 

Every. Single. One. 

And even though Mr. Henry has some strange kidney-plumbing, he is still awesome. He is amazing. He is my little miracle boy. 

Love you smoochy! You are going to be OK. 

Mama's got you.