I said yes

(Image taken Sept. 4th, 1999.) 

On September 4th, 1999 -- Charles and I hiked to the top of Savage Rock in Denali, Alaska. When we reached the highest peak, Charles -- not so unexpectedly -- asked me if I would be his . . . forever. I stood there, freezing, and wind-blown, with snot pouring from my nose, and sweat beading on my forehead. Unaware of my nasty appearance, he got down on his knee, and pulled out a ring with 12 tiny diamonds, and offered it to me. It felt weird, so unnatural. It felt far too "formal" for how I felt about being with Charles. Charles to me meant (and still means) absolute comfort. The scene was far too much like a movie proposal -- it would have been just as special to me had we been in the driveway of my parents home. I am not into surprises, or formal, ceremonial, things. But he did it that way, anyway. And it was sweet. After I accepted the ring, and accepted that Charles would be my eternal companion, we decided to pray. We found a rock to kneel at, and at the very tip top of Savage Rock -- we prayed that the decision we were making would be a good one. And that our union would be blessed.

This was also the very first day that Charles said the words, "I love you." We had been together since April, and he had never once told me the phrase of all phrases. I actually had to ask him to say it (force him is more like it!). He said the reason he did not want to say "I love you" is because he had had many people say they loved him in words -- but not shown it in actions. He wanted to just "show" me that he loved me, by the way he treated me. I let him know that that was all good and dandy, but, for me, words mean A LOT. Suffice it to say, Charles has told me in deeds AND words, that he loves me -- everyday. I know he does. And I am grateful.

Savage Rock in Denali, Alaska

It was a close call with Charles. We almost called it off! I was actually going in for my temple recommend interview, and right before that -- Charles brought up the idea that he wanted to wait a little longer (like change the date that we had scheduled, from winter to summer). I was not too happy about that idea. To make a long story short, he came to his senses and realized whether it was sooner or later, being together was the right thing to do. I brought up that since we were "waiting" I might as well go on a mission for 2 years. But I guess he did not want to wait that long! :-) I am skipping the details though, because, honestly, they were a little dark, and sad -- as if something were trying hard to keep us from being together. But we pulled ourselves together and made it happen. Man, getting married can be rough! We will just skip that whole first year of marriage details . . . not my favorite memories. Let's just say it has been so much more fantastic since then! Wow! Glad we made it through! Being in Alaska in the winter just added to the weirdness of being newlyweds. Not to mention having Mono and not being able to be intimate in any way for months. Yeah. Nice.

Denali, Alaska

Anyway, looking back, it was nuts. I was 19 and in college, and Charles was 22 and fresh off of his mission. Now I am 32 and Charles is 35. We are "middle-aged" parents, with 4 children. It is amazing. We were just babies when we got married -- young, and full of dreams, and hopes for a marvelous future. We have literally grown up together. We have figured out who we are, together. We have become "us" together. And it has been interesting, and glorious, too.

13 years ago, as I knelt across the jagged rocks with Charles in prayer (with snot running down my face), I never would have imagined the journey that we have traveled together. All I had then was hope. I hoped that Charles would be my best friend through it all -- through thick and thin, good and bad, health and sickness, pretty and ugly . . .  he has been there by my side. My best friend.

I love Charles now, more then I could ever have imagined as a dreamy-eyed 19 year old. He has become so much more than just a companion to me. He is everything to me.

I am searching for words . . . but there are none. There are just feelings that make my heart want to leap from my chest.

I love you, Charles. May my words -- and my actions -- show you that I mean it, now, and forever.