Friday, September 14, 2012

Separate Beds

I used to think Charles was crazy, when he brought up the idea of separate beds. This was something we actually discussed prior to getting married. It was just one of those silly topics where we would discuss the "why?" and "why not?" Well, he was all for the I Love Lucy sleeping arrangement, but I was not buying it. I was certain I would want to sleep snuggled-up to Charles, all lovey-dovey, and close -- like my parents do.

And then we got married.

We soon discovered that he was cold, and I was hot. I also realized that I could not stand to be touched when I was sleeping, it makes me lash-out irrationally. We found it was a common occurrence for one of us to flip over and slap each other in the face, while we were sleeping. (It was never on purpose, of course. He, he.) We both toss and turn in our sleep, and take the blankets with us. From the very beginning of our marriage (13 years ago) we discovered we needed separate blankets. We both have to have our blanket woven around our body, and that does not work so well -- with just one blanket. We both are just really active sleepers, flopping around, like fish out of water. We also both make weird noises in our sleep. I have made my fair share of strange sounds, but one night, Charles made the oddest noise I have ever heard. It woke me up, and it woke him up, too. He said he was dreaming that he just kicked a Muppet across the room. (That explained the flying Kermit the Frog shriek.) Not to mention the time that he kept saying in his sleep, over and over, "He was just a country boy!" "He was just a country boy!" Apparently Elvis was dreadfully used by Hollywood -- according to Charles' night visions.

Anyway, over the years, separate beds started to seem like a better idea!

And now, for the last few nights, Charles has been sleeping in my parents room, in their big, soft, comfy, king-size bed, all by himself. (My parents are in Alaska right now.) He says it has been heavenly. For the past 5 months he has been trying to sleep while hanging-off the edge of our queen size bed, with a pillow over his head (thanks to our cherubic-muffin, Henry, who still wakes-up a lot throughout the night).

I must say that I have been sleeping better the last few nights, too. It is kind of nice having the bed all to myself -- and not stressing about Charles getting enough sleep. (His work is pretty intense, and he needs his beauty sleep.) I actually sent him to the other room, because Henry had been waking-up even more than normal throughout the night, and it was becoming exhausting. Charles did not want to go at first . . . but now I think he does not want to come back!

So, for now, we have our nighttime chat, we have a hug and a smooch, read our scriptures and say our prayers, and then sleep alone. (Well, he is alone -- I have the privilege of Henry's company throughout the night.)

It has been great. I sleep in the middle of the bed all sprawled-out like a kid, with pillows all around me. (I love pillows everywhere, Charles . . . not so much.)

So, I am thinking separate beds might not be such a bad idea after all??

Or at least a REALLY big bed, or maybe two queen beds right next to each other . . . Hmmmm?

Either that, or Charles can sleep in between my parents from now on. :-)

9 comments:

  1. That's been happening a lot at our house lately to, only I've been out on the couch. Thankfully our couch is pretty comfortable. I do miss sleeping in our bed all night. Oh well it'll happening again eventually.

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  2. I have to say that co-sleeping has been the greatest challenge of our marriage as well. (Forget all of the other things those counselors tell you cause the biggest strain on marriage--getting a good night's rest can solve so many of them in and of itself!) For us, we noticed a huge difference by just switching sides of the bed. In addition to that, I keep a steady supply of ear plugs in my nightstand drawer.

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  3. That is so funny. It sounds to me like you guys are the perfect example of needing separate beds.
    I could never do it, I"m too scared of the dark, I need Dru there for a sound sleep. We're not floppy fish though or have blanket problems or pillow stuff..............LOL
    Sounds like it's working for you guys.

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  4. you are fools for sticking it out in a queen this long! go king and you will never go back....i think you can make it work on a bigger bed. :)

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  5. I agree with Erin....king bed all the way!! It made such a difference for us. We can cuddle when we want and then move to our separate sides of the bed when we are ready to sleep. I definitely can't sleep cuddled up but also, like Melissa, I can't sleep well without Tyson in the bed, even if we aren't touching. We can go the whole night without running into each other. Once in a while I'll wake up feeling lonely and will slide next to Tyson for a little while and then back to my side of the bed. You should test it out in your parents bed and see if it's enough room for the both of you. It's funny how many comments this got. Obviously it's a topic people can relate to.:)

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  6. None of the "in between stuff", but a suggestion: Try our bed with Charles while we are gone. If you like it, (Sorry, you can't have it) but seriously consider a king. They are great!

    Mom

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  7. Get a king bed! We just did. Now I can face whatever direction I want without anyone breathing in my face.

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  8. PS And get a good mattress so you don't feel every little disturbance.

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  9. I missed this post before, but I'm so glad you linked to it because that story about kicking Kermit across the room rocked my world. HA!

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