A note from Mari: Over the next few months, I am going to post inspirational stories of successful weight-loss, and good health -- for inspiration, and motivation. (For me, and you!) All of those who are spotlighted will have a different way of accomplishing their goals. I do not endorse, or promote, any particular way to achieving good health, but I DO promote finding what works for you, and DO IT! My hope is that you will find someone who resonates with you, and if you are fighting the battle, you can do what it takes to CHANGE YOUR LIFE! You can do it! -Mari
I have known Suszette for about 6 years. She is a beautiful lady, on the inside and out. She has a lovely family, including 3 stinking-cute kids! She is the kind of Mama who always looks good no matter what she is doing. She is a fellow Alaska-girl (which means something, if you are from there). Once Alaskan, always Alaskan. I love her story. She helped me to see my journey in a different way. You would never know by looking at her that she deals with pain . . . as so many of us do.
A few weeks ago I reached out to Mari- offering her my shoulder to cry on when I read about how much pain she was having in her lower back and hips. Mari’s pain sounded familiar – I am not sure we suffer the same conditions but the pain evidences itself in a similar fashion. I had years of lower back pain where the base of the spine meets pelvis – down into the tailbone – and around the side of the hip.
Mari asked if I would share my story. I do so in hopes that perhaps someone else who is suffering – can find the help they need in their journey or just find comfort knowing they are not alone.
My story isn’t one about massive weight loss. It’s not about getting a medal at the end of a race I conquered. It’s about a long and continuous road to accepting ourselves as we are and learning to be happy with what we are given. I realize there are many, many people who have suffered far greater than myself – but it was a challenge and learning experience nonetheless.
After the birth of my oldest son, who is now 9, I felt like I had been ran over by an extra large semi truck. I figured that was normal. I mean…delivering a giant baby can’t be easy! I could barely walk up stairs. Everything hurt. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that my neighbor, who had also just given birth, practically bounced up my driveway that the thought “something isn’t right” entered my mind. So I asked my Dr. if there was something abnormal about my pain. He looked at my back and declared I had broken my tailbone during delivery and that I needed physical therapy. I sought out a second opinion and the next Dr. agreed with the diagnosis. So off I went. Months of physical therapy offered some relief- but it really felt like a band-aid. It was good enough to get me through the day but I didn’t feel like the problem was solved. My lower back hurt every night when I would lay down to go to bed and it hurt every time I sat in the car. With the hustle and bustle of my new life as mom- I accepted it as my new normal and buzzed about.
Fast forward a few years and baby #2 came. Same problem post delivery though not as severe. Professionals decided maybe this time the tailbone was just dislocated or bruised. Off for physical therapy I went again! I decided to seek further knowledge from another medical specialist. An orthopedist. They took some x-rays of my pelvis, told me it was slightly out of alignment, and that physical therapy was once again…. the answer to my problems. Again I accepted pain as the norm since no one seemed to have a fix for my problems. (Enter growing frustration here)
Fast-forward another few years- to baby #3. At 36 weeks my pelvis pretty much gave out. I could not walk without huge amounts of pain in my pelvis. I was on bed rest for the last four weeks of my pregnancy and post delivery brought the same problems as before. I didn’t even have to ask for a referral. I knew what needed to be done. Off to physical therapy I went! Happy to have relief – but extremely frustrated that NO ONE seemed to know why this was happening or how to fix it.
At some point in my journey- I met a massage therapist (who I will forever be grateful for!) who asked if I had ever been to a chiropractor (a who?) – chiropractic was foreign to me! She said something in my lower back just ‘wasn’t right’ - I wasn’t sure that it was a good idea. People in my circle didn’t have positive views of the alternative practice. She gave me a referral to one close by that she knew and I kept it in my wallet for quite some time.
After three babies, two OB’s, two physical therapists, MONTHS of physical therapy, one orthopedist and STILL frequent to continuous lower back pain- I decided I would try ANYTHING! I had to find an answer. Physical therapy wasn’t cutting it and I decided I couldn’t live with the pain any more. I wanted to be ‘normal’ again!
The rest is history J(haha. If only it were THAT easy!) It was almost instant relief. I felt sooooo much better after only a few weeks of treatment. I was sold. I felt like a whole new person! I was diagnosed with chronic pelvic tilt – meaning my hips come out of alignment nearly allthe time. This affects everything! IT bands, knee, spine, muscle memory etc. etc. – it is the base of all my (physical) problems. Which also means I have to keep going to the chiropractor to stay in alignment and for the pesky pain to stay away. I continue to get adjusted 1-2x/month. NOW… some naysayers would argue I am not really ‘fixed’ then. As I understand it – it’s just something faulty in my structure-a condition that can’t necessarily be ‘fixed’ but kept under control. I don’t know- I haven’t found a better answer and no other treatment has provided this kind of relief, so I’m sticking with it. J
With pain at a minimum my journey had really just begun. After finding chiropractic – I was able to exercise like I hadn’t been able to in a long time. I felt so great I decided I wanted to get back into running. What sounded really fun was trying to do a triathlon. I started on the long road to being athletic again. I felt so great compared to how I had felt for the past several years- I may have been too optimistic! It didn’t take long before I realized running would prove to be difficult. But I was determined. JUST THREE MILES. That’s all I needed to be able to run to do a small sprint-sized tri. I started one block at a time. I still remember how incredible it felt just to run around the block! The more I ran however- the more the pain came back. Which meant the more I went to get an adjustment by the chiro! I guess I just thought if I fought my body hard enough- it would give in. Or if I just ‘retrained’ my muscles – they would allow me to run like I wanted to. I couldn’t give up. Giving up meant failing. Meant quitting. I was NOT a quitter. So I did it! I did my first sprint triathlon. I wasn’t fast. But I did it. Then what happened?--- well I wanted to run FURTHER of course! I wanted to do an Olympic-sized tri! That meant SIX miles. Well I had three down … all I needed was three more! By now my frame of mind was ‘if I just keep going to get adjusted then I can do this’. I wasn’t going to admit yet that maybe running just wasn’t something I should be doing. I kept chugging along. Kept pushing myself- and completed my first 10K. Again it was slow- but I was so happy. I had ran farther than I had run in a VERY long time. Now that I had 6 miles in my pocket-I was on my way to fulfilling my goal! I started training for Spudman (an Olympic-sized) triathlon. As fate would have it, just two weeks before the race – my knee started hurting – really bad. I couldn’t run thru it- it wasn’t just an ache. It was a sharp pain on the side/under the kneecap.
I was frustrated … depressed … possibly a little angry. I had worked SO hard to get where I was. I had spent so much time training & money on adjustments just to be able to run a few miles. I was sure it was something that could be fixed. Maybe it was my new running shoes. Maybe it was the way my feet were clipped into my bike. Maybe it was the combination of biking and running. Maybe I just needed a break. (BUT in my mind I was thinking COME ON!!! It’s not like I am trying to climb Everest here- or even a ½ marathon! I’m not going THAT far! ) I couldn’t even run down the street without extreme knee pain. After exploring all of the above options as the culprit of the pain-I decided there was no way I could run myself and put together a team for Spudman- and I would be the swimmer. Even that turned out comical. The swim portion was cancelled due to high winds JI guess it just wasn’t meant to be- for the Spud and I.
I decided I would take a little break. Go back to my old running shoes, just bike for a while, then add running slowly. See how it went. I had just bought a bike. A wetsuit. I wasn’t quitting! Off to another physical therapist I went. This was someone who was highly recommended and specialized in sports medicine/running. After several weeks of scraping my IT bands, exercises to increase pelvic strength, and short episodes of treadmill running – there was zero improvement. She referred me to an orthopedist for an MRI. The MRI revealed a small tear deep in the meniscus and tons of tiny pockets of fluid surrounding the knee. The orthopedist asked me how much I loved running. (LOVE running? Ha!) He suggested that only if I couldn’t live without running (he was serious-) would he recommend surgery. He made the argument that since I could bike, swim and do most things without pain – to leave well enough alone. We discussed the option of surgery. He warned that the scar tissue that remained from surgery could cause more problems than if left alone. I decided it wasn’t worth it.
Sue is in the red |
That was my moment. The moment I realized I was not destined to be a marathon runner or an all-star triathlete ;) My focus had to change. It was fine that I tried- and tried … but at some point you have to come to grips with reality. I needed to CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY with what I could do- instead of being mad about what I couldn’t. I needed to focus on being healthy and strong-not determined to fix something I couldn’t. I had to remember that at one point when on bed rest during my 3rd pregnancy – all I wanted to be able to do was WALK.
I can walk! I can bike, cross-train, swim, or lift weights. All withoutpain! So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past year! I am very thankful that I can. I am blessed that I can. I am HAPPY that I can!
I won’t pretend this journey is over – it’s a continuous battle. Don’t be surprised if you see me testing myself time to time--just to make sure I still can’t run ;)
Great perspective.
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzsette <3
Thanks so much Sue! I LOVED this. I think so many of us try to keep up with what we think we should be doing, rather than what is best for us. I love that you have decided to choose to be happy with what you CAN do. This is awesome. Love ya!
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