There and Back Again

Oh boy, Oh boy, have we had a whirlwind of activity the last few months. (Hence, the lack of blog posts.)

It all started with a phone call from our landlord. She said we would need to move out of our home, because they were putting the house up for sale. I was sort of shocked, especially since we had just signed another year lease, but I knew our time in the Surprise Valley home would not be long. I knew it was more or less a "house of cards" just waiting to fall. And fall it did.

After finding out that we needed to move, we tried to rent a few more large homes in our area, but to no avail -- they were taken. And then there was nothing for rent. Then we considered buying a large home, we almost bought 4 different houses -- to no avail. And I am grateful it did not work out, because it was not the right thing for our family. Taking on $200,000 + worth of debt is plain STUPID when we already have a home, and plenty of law school debt.

But our options were few, we had to find a place to live. We had to leave. We were homeless!

And then, one night, Charles awoke out of a deep sleep and he woke me, too. We talked, and discussed our options, and went over all the details of life. After some not so grand ideas, our conversation turned to our little house. We considered returning to our home that we own, and hunkering down there for awhile. The idea-seed was planted, and then it felt right, and ideas and plans began to stir and grow. Walls in our minds were removed, and the way seemed clear. However, this would mean great upheaval for everyone, but we knew it was the right thing to do. And when something is right, you just do it.

We had to tell my parents (they lived with us), they were on vacation at the time. This would mean a change in their plans as well. This would mean big changes all around. Hard, difficult, painful, changes. But we knew it was right. So, hard, painful, things had to be done.

The last few months have been insanity for me -- emotionally, physically, spiritually, everything. We have packed up the big 2400sqft fancy home we lived in, we have put many things in a storage unit, and we have chucked a ton of stuff that we just didn't need or use. We are now living in our 932 sqft home, 2 beds, 1 bath, 6 people.

What have I learned from this? (Tons and tons of things!)

I learned: I like a simple life.

I tend to stress easily when overburdened, and the less stress in my life, the happier Mari I am. (Duh!)

While living in the other home everything was too big. The home was too big, our budget/spending was too big, our travel time was too big, our ward was too big (no offense, lovely church people), even we got too big. (Stress will do that to ya!) 

The whole year we were there I felt stretched. Again, the term "house of cards" comes to mind. It was all artificial. It was not ours. We were just borrowing it. We also were renting out our little home, at a loss, and our renter was always late with rent, and he badly damaged our pristine home. Everything seemed unhinged, and out of balance. A little something of stress here, a little more there.

Stress. Loads of stress.

I was allowed, for a year,  to feel the pangs of living too large. I was allowed to taste a bit of upscale and fancy. And guess what?

I did not like it.

I am not saying it is not for everyone. Some people love the world of living large, they thrive there. But not me. No, not me.

I am a simple girl.

I don't like excess.

There were too many pieces in the game of life we were playing. I could not keep track of them all.

I like order. I like clean. I like things to be in their place. I like warm. I like cozy. I like small.

And small is what I have now. And I am loving it. I feel free somehow.

We are back in our house. The house we lived in for 4 years. The house we know every corner of. The house we have filled with love and memories. It is home.

It feels so good to be home. I can't adequately explain it.

We have 6 people in 2 bedrooms, and 1 bathroom. (Sammi says it is 2.5 bedrooms, with her awesome loft bed closet room.) We are happy here. The kids are thrilled to be back. Church, home, Charles' office, and school, walks by the river, are all less than a mile away.

It is fantastic.

After the chaos of life the past few months, I have to say . . .

There is no place like Home.

Thanks be to God for His tender mercies along the way. What seemed like great disappointments with housing situations, were actually Him protecting us from a life we did not want. He knows our hearts and desires more than we do. I could feel His hand directing us in a powerful way.

I was worried about fitting our family in our small home, with an added baby since last time. But my fears are all washed away now.

I love being close to my children. I love having them near, and knowing what they are doing. There is no where to hide here. No where for unseen mischief. We are in this together. I love having baby Henry free to roam, without worry of him falling down the stairs. I love that the kids are all in the same room (Sammi in her own space in the closet), and that our room is only two steps away from them. I love that. I cannot even express how much I love it. It makes me feel complete at the end of the day, having them so close to me, when the lights are out. They are my sweet babies, that I love. I love spitting toothpaste in the sink together. I love that we are forced to be close to each other, forced to talk, work things out patiently, and to constantly see each other. I love that cleaning the whole house takes 20 minutes when we all work together. I love that there is only one toilet to scrub. I love that the grass in the yard was grown by me. I love that I love my little family enough to want to be around them. I love being in my sweet little home.

I love it, love it, love it!

I am grateful for the last year, and the things I have learned about myself, and what I "need" to be happy.

In the big home, I was like a goldfish in a large pond, growing larger to fit in my surroundings. Everything grew larger -- even my body -- and especially my stress. Being reduced to a mere "fish bowl" has made me realize how little I really need, and how little I even want. Because I am a simple girl, my desires are for things to be as simple as possible. And when life is simple, I thrive, and I am happy. I like being happy.

I did not know this about me before now. And I am grateful I had the chance to figure it out, so that I do not have to ever be grasping for a life I don't really want. I can live happy with the simple life I have now. Go figure.

Living simple is a choice we have made. A sort of "forced" choice, but it was still ours to make. Maybe you live simply not by choice, but out of necessity. If so, do not begrudge your lifestyle -- love it! There is a beauty of living simply that cannot be understood without living it. Be happy with your simple life. Rejoice in it!

"No doubt to others, our ways may seem quaint. But today of all days, it is brought home to me: It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life." - Bilbo Baggins

So here I am now, celebrating a simple life!

There is nothing better. No, nothing at all.

My heart is full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for being so kind to my family.